Gateway to Danger or A Day in a Life at Casa de Muddy Pawz
by Mary Carrara Watson on Friday, May 8, 2009 at 9:12am
My friends always ask me how I’m doing now that I’m at home 24/7, so here’s an example of “a day in the life”.
I was sitting at my computer and gazing at the front yard when I saw my neighbor fly by my office window alternately screaming obscenities and talking sugary sweet. Her Wheaton Terrier puppy, Tucker escaped and I needed to help catch him. Treats didn’t work. Toys didn’t work. I finally brought Boadicca, our female English Mastiff out on a leash. She dropped her head, wagged her tail and said, “Hey Sailor!”, and Tucker looked up at her and said, “Now you’re talkin’! Long legged Amazon bitches!” He went to sniff her nether regions and his mommy, Lindsay dove on him and pinned him to the ground. We escorted them home to hold Tucker’s focus. Success!
In the meantime, Bentley was left inside alone while chaos was happening out front and he howled like a banshee the whole time. He howled so HARD that he started breaking wind (Mastiff-style) and when I opened the door, I nearly passed out at the noxious green cloud that roiled out the door at me.
Just got the dogs settled down and the doorbell rang, which naturally sent the dogs straight into a tizzy again. It was Sandy with our dry cleaning. Now Sandy knows we own MonsterDogz and seems to have decided that because we have big dogs and a website that we must also be vets and authorities on all dog-related issues. He’s always cornering me about tick remedies, foods, etc. for his Rottweilers. We even had a tick remedy follow-up at Safeway in the bread aisle. Well, he handed me Rick’s shirts and sweaters and started explaining that he came so late because “Chef”, his big male Rottweiler broke his shoulder and had to have surgery. Third surgery for the Rottie…we CAN rebuild him…the six million dollar dog. In the meantime the hangers were digging into my palm and wouldn’t fit on the doorknob, but I was sympathizing with Sandy…while Bent’ and Boadie were “tizzying” in the back yard…for like 20 minutes. He finally left after discussing all 3 surgeries, plates, bolts, nuts and screws in his dear companion. I completely lost the blood supply to my left hand. They saved Chef’s shoulder, but I may lose a hand.
I just sat back down at the computer to send Rick a g’nite e-mail as he was in Pittsburg on a project, and I heard, “Peeep….peeeep!” (Aw rats!) The cats, Mssrs. Merriweather & Baggins, had a fledgling mockingbird pinned in my garden in front. I scooped him up (alive but scared) with the bird food scooper and deposited him in a willowy tree that the cats can’t climb in Lindsay’s yard next door. The cats looked at me like I had just pulled their dessert tray. You know the look. Only cats cat give you THAT look.
I came back in after the bird rescue, and now the dogs were so “het up” between Tucker, Sandy and the cats and bird that they were barking at everything that moved including a passing Boeing 737 about 20,000 feet above our house. Boadie’s back was up for about half an hour, and she was trotting all over LOOKIN’ for the next bearer of chaos to Casa de Muddy Pawz (“Gateway to Danger”). Bentley’s gas issue returned, and I followed him with citrus spray throughout the house.
I finally settled the dogs down with salmon treats (which gives them gas, by the by) and Animal Planet on the telly, sat back down at my computer, and BLAM!!!! HUGE explosion and the entire block went dark…as in “ink”. I felt and stumbled my way over dog pillows, toys, dishes, drool towels and blankets to the kitchen and found a flashlight. This happened 2 years ago, so I guessed what might have happened. I grabbed a flashlight and headed to the back gate where the power pole is in the alley. Sure enough…there at the base of the pole lay a much singed and very well-done roof rat who decided to have a taste of a transformer. The little varmint took out 4 blocks of power. Many of our neighbors are new behind us, and didn’t know about the Arcadia roof rats which are attracted by citrus and periodically target our area which was once a citrus orchard. The Arcadia Roof Rats don’t care what kind of car you drive or the value of your home, by the way. They care about citrus fruit and anything that leads to it, including wires. The sick and twisted part of me reveled in shining my mag-light on the corpse for the new neighbors and grossing them out. Then I came in, lit all the candles I could find and called the power company. It took them about an hour to show up in the alley with their cherry picker truck.
Ya know what? My Mastiffs do NOT like strangers in the alley…especially strangers with big scary equipment with flashing lights. Even with the heavy chain link they were scaring the power guy to DEATH (He would not leave his vehicle, fence or no fence!) and the dogs would not be dragged, coaxed or coerced away from snarling at the UFO through the fence and gate. I finally had to leash them and walk them in the house and trap them back in the bedroom with Animal Planet and treats. 30 minutes later we had power, a new transformer; the dogs went back outside and declared the world safe once again.
I put on my jammies, took a “Care Bear pill” and went to bed.
Such is the life at Casa de Muddy Pawz…Gateway to Danger…
© Copyright 2011 Mary Watson