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A Day in the Life of the Warrior Queen

A Day in the Life of the Warrior Queen

by Mary Carrara Watson on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 7:52am

Went to start my car yesterday to run a few errands before a 1:00 interview….key in the ignition…click.

Called AAA who arrived faster than a 911 responder.  They jumped the car, tested the battery.  Supposed to test at 950 jiggahertz and tested 42.  Baaaaad battery.  Only Land Rover carries the correct battery.  Checker Auto is not an option.

Called my guys at Rover Techs who confirmed they had batteries there.  (Oh, by the way…the “Check Engine Soon” light came on…How soon is ‘soon’?)  They asked me to run it up there and they would have a rental for me so they could replace the battery and check it out.  No problem…plenty of time.  Threw my hair in a ponytail and slapped my Sunday-go-to-meetin’ suit on.

Drove to Northeast Scottsdale to Rover Techs.  Sign on the door – “Out to Lunch – Back at 1:00”.  (ACK!  My interview’s at one!)  Car pulls up in front of Rover Techs.  Could this be my rental????  Nope…parts delivery.  But the guy is sure that they would be using Enterprise for rentals…just up the street.  Guy gives me a ride to Enterprise in new Prius (I would rent that car…).

Enterprise states they have no cars due to the Arabian Horse Show and other events in the valley, and there are 5 people also waiting for a car.  I state my plight and a representative offers to drive me back to Rover Techs in his brand new Escalade.  (I would rent that car!)

I try to start my car.  It’s graveyard dead.  It’s 12:35.  Up comes a 1962 VW Combi with my Rover Tech guys, smiling and waving.  I tell them there are no cars at Enterprise and I have about 22 minutes to get to my interview.  Kevin, the co-owner drives me to Hertz…just down the street in his brand new Range Rover (which I would happily rent).

Hertz rents me a red motorized vehicle the size of a Yorkshire Terrier and charged me $38.  (WTF-EVER!)  I have 12 minutes.  The perky dimpled blonde Hertz girl says I’ll make it.  I want to slap the bejiggers out of her.  I jump in the “thing” and haul butt to Cactus and Tatum for my interview.  As I pull in the parking lot, I glance at the “thing’s” clock.  It is 1:00 on the nose.  I run across the parking lot (in heels), leap to the door, push the elevator button 47 times, trot straight to the correct suite where the perky dimpled German receptionist with a large mole under her nose informs me that it is 1:07 (“Eeet eees vun-oh-SEFFEN”) and the group interview is underway and I may NOT (snaps whip – clicks heels) enter.

I begged.

I believe she turned to granite.

I contemplated crying (never), a primal scream (possible), or just bailing out of the 3rd story window behind her and just ending it all right then and there.

I went back to the red “thing”.  I drove home, put my sweats back on and hung up my Sunday-go-to meetin’ suit, hugged my dogs and went to bed.

Rick came home.  I explained why there was a red lump in the driveway and how I had been in 5 different cars inside of 30 minutes and missed the interview.  He patted my head and hugged me.  Kevin called from Rover Techs and advised us that the flibbergiggit and platasnacker need to be replaced along with the battery…and an oil change and that will total $1,600.  They’re giving us two window stickers for free.  Rick told them to make the car safe for his warrior queen.

I love my husband.  Interview rescheduled for March 8th…the lady understood…she has a Jaguar.  She said, “Those Britts can’t cook, but boy do they make a great car!”  Yeah…except for the flibbergiggits…

© 2011 Mary Watson


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